Why Back-to-School Season Can Feel So Overwhelming for Kids (and Parents) in the Westside and Valley
Back-to-school anxiety is something many children, teens, and parents experience every year. I remember this time of year when I was in school. Seeing the back-to-school commercials and hearing well-intentioned people ask, "Are you excited to go back to school?" would often trigger feelings of anxiety. Looking back, I realize I wasn't alone.
While going back to school can be exciting for some children, for others it brings worry, uncertainty, and stress. Whether it's starting kindergarten, transitioning to middle school or high school, or simply returning after summer break, back-to-school anxiety is incredibly common and can affect children and teens in many different ways.
What Is Back-to-School Anxiety?
Back-to-school anxiety refers to the stress, worry, or fear that children and teens may experience before or after returning to school. While some nervousness is expected, ongoing school anxiety can interfere with sleep, friendships, academics, and a child's overall well-being.
Returning to school is a significant transition. After a summer filled with more flexibility, family time, and fewer academic demands, children suddenly shift into structured schedules, homework, social expectations, and classroom responsibilities. Even positive changes can feel overwhelming for a child's nervous system.
Why Does Going Back to School Cause Anxiety?
There are many reasons children and teens experience school anxiety, including:
Adjusting to a new routine after summer break
Worrying about teachers, classes, or academic performance
Concerns about making or keeping friends
Social anxiety and peer pressure
Fear of bullying or feeling left out
Perfectionism and pressure to succeed
Spending less time with parents or caregivers
Previous difficult experiences at school
Friends often become an important source of comfort throughout the school day. Not knowing who will be in their classes or whether they'll have someone to sit with at lunch can create significant stress. For younger children especially, spending less time with caregivers can also bring up feelings of separation anxiety or uneasiness.
Signs Your Child May Be Experiencing Back-to-School Anxiety
Children don't always tell us they're anxious. Instead, anxiety often shows up through physical symptoms or changes in behavior.
Some common signs include:
Stomachaches or headaches
Trouble falling asleep or staying asleep
Increased irritability
Emotional meltdowns after school
School refusal or wanting to stay home
Perfectionism or fear of making mistakes
Needing constant reassurance
Becoming unusually quiet or withdrawn
More conflict with siblings or family members
Difficulty concentrating
Increased clinginess
Understanding School Anxiety Through a Nervous System Lens
One of the things I often help parents understand is that anxiety isn't simply "all in your child's head."
Sometimes a child's nervous system perceives the transition back to school as stressful, even when nothing is objectively wrong. Their body shifts into protection mode, which may show up as emotional outbursts, shutting down, avoidance, stomachaches, headaches, or difficulty regulating emotions.
These reactions aren't signs that your child is being difficult—they're often signs that their nervous system is working hard to adapt to a major life transition.
What Parents Can Do to Help
There are many ways parents can support children experiencing back-to-school anxiety:
Re-establish routines before school begins.
Validate your child's feelings instead of immediately trying to solve the problem.
Stay calm when your child becomes dysregulated.
Focus on connection before problem-solving.
Keep mornings predictable and consistent.
Model healthy coping skills and emotional regulation.
Celebrate effort rather than perfection.
Sometimes simply helping a child feel understood can make a meaningful difference.
When to Seek Therapy for School Anxiety
While some back-to-school jitters are completely normal, ongoing school anxiety doesn't have to be something your child simply "pushes through."
If your child is avoiding school, experiencing frequent emotional outbursts, struggling with sleep, withdrawing from friends, or showing signs that anxiety is interfering with their daily life, therapy can help.
As a therapist, I work with children and teens experiencing anxiety, school stress, perfectionism, social anxiety, and life transitions. Together, we can help your child better understand their emotions, regulate their nervous system, and build the confidence and resilience they need to navigate school and life with greater ease.
If you're wondering whether your child's anxiety is more than typical back-to-school stress, I'd be happy to help determine whether therapy is the right next step. I provide therapy for children and teens in Thousand Oaks, Santa Monica, and virtually throughout California.
