Social Anxiety Therapy in Santa Monica, Thousand Oaks, and Across California

You Seem Confident on the Outside. Inside, You’re Constantly Wondering What Everyone Thinks.

Social anxiety is not always obvious.

You may appear outgoing, successful, or capable while privately replaying conversations, worrying that you said the wrong thing, or wondering if people secretly don’t like you.

You might overthink text messages, avoid speaking up in groups, dread social events, or leave interactions feeling embarrassed even when nothing objectively went wrong.

If this sounds familiar, you are not alone.

I specialize in helping adults understand the deeper roots of social anxiety, quiet self-criticism, and build greater confidence in themselves and their relationships.

What Is Social Anxiety?

Social anxiety is more than shyness or introversion. It involves a persistent fear of being judged, rejected, embarrassed, or negatively evaluated by others.

Many people with social anxiety deeply want connection, but feel trapped by self-consciousness, overthinking, and fear of making a mistake.

For some, social anxiety develops after painful social experiences. For others, it may be connected to childhood emotional neglect, emotionally immature parenting, relational trauma, bullying, criticism, or environments where mistakes did not feel safe.

Rather than asking, “What’s wrong with me?” therapy helps explore, “What happened that taught my nervous system to expect judgment or rejection?”

Signs You May Be Experiencing Social Anxiety

You may notice that you:

  • Replay conversations long after they end

  • Worry about saying the wrong thing

  • Overthink emails or text messages before sending them

  • Fear being judged, criticized, or disliked

  • Avoid speaking up in groups or meetings

  • Feel awkward even when others seem comfortable

  • Compare yourself to other people

  • Apologize excessively

  • Feel responsible for making other people comfortable

  • Avoid conflict because you’re afraid people will be upset with you

  • Experience blushing, sweating, shaking, nausea, or a racing heart in social situations

  • Feel lonely while also avoiding opportunities to connect

These patterns are often attempts to protect yourself, not signs that you are broken.

Why Does Social Anxiety Develop?

Social anxiety is rarely just about social situations.

For many adults, it reflects earlier experiences that taught them to become highly aware of other people’s emotions, reactions, or expectations.

You may have grown up:

  • Feeling criticized or judged

  • Walking on eggshells around a caregiver

  • Learning that mistakes were unsafe

  • Becoming the “good” or responsible child

  • Prioritizing other people’s needs over your own

  • Feeling emotionally unseen, misunderstood, or dismissed

Over time, your nervous system may begin to anticipate rejection, embarrassment, or disapproval even in situations that are objectively safe.

Understanding where these patterns come from can help reduce shame and create lasting change.

My Approach to Social Anxiety Therapy

My approach integrates:

  • Somatic Experiencing (SE): Helping your nervous system feel safer in social situations and reducing the physical symptoms of anxiety.

  • EMDR Therapy: Processing experiences that continue to shape fears of rejection, embarrassment, or criticism.

  • Attachment-Based Therapy: Understanding how early relationships influence your current relationships and self-confidence.

  • Parts Work: Exploring the protective parts of you that work so hard to keep you safe from judgment or rejection.

Together, we’ll work to help you:

  • Reduce overthinking and rumination

  • Feel more confident expressing yourself

  • Quiet self-criticism

  • Develop healthier boundaries

  • Feel less afraid of making mistakes

  • Build greater self-trust

  • Create more meaningful and authentic relationships

You Don’t Have to Become Extroverted to Feel More Confident

Healing from social anxiety is not about becoming the loudest person in the room or loving every social situation.

It is about feeling more comfortable being yourself.

It is about trusting that your worth is not determined by saying the perfect thing, being liked by everyone, or making other people happy.

When your nervous system feels safer and your confidence grows, social interactions often become less exhausting and more genuine

Social Anxiety Therapy in Santa Monica, Thousand Oaks, and Across California

I provide therapy for adults experiencing social anxiety throughout California via telehealth and offer in-person therapy sessions in Santa Monica and Thousand Oaks.

Whether you've struggled with social anxiety for years or have recently noticed yourself avoiding social situations, therapy can help you better understand yourself, feel more confident, and experience relationships with greater ease and authenticity.

Frequently Asked Questions

  • No. Introversion is a personality trait, while social anxiety involves a fear of being judged, embarrassed, rejected, or negatively evaluated. Many introverts enjoy meaningful social connection, and many extroverts experience social anxiety.

  • Replaying conversations is a common response to social anxiety. Your mind may be trying to determine whether you made a mistake, upset someone, or were judged negatively. Therapy can help reduce this cycle by addressing both the anxious thoughts and the underlying nervous system responses.

  • Yes. Experiences such as emotionally immature parenting, childhood emotional neglect, bullying, criticism, or relational trauma can shape how safe or unsafe social situations feel. Therapy can help you understand these connections while developing greater confidence and self-trust.

  • Yes. Social anxiety and people-pleasing often overlap. You may try to avoid judgment or rejection by being agreeable, accommodating, or hyper-aware of other people’s reactions. Therapy can help you develop boundaries and feel more secure being yourself.

  • Many people do not actually want to stop caring about others. They simply want to stop feeling controlled by the fear of judgment. Therapy can help you strengthen your sense of self so that your confidence comes more from within than from other people’s approval.